Category: Recent Influences

Learning about the shapes and colors of Autism

For those of you that do not know, April is Autism month. Some of you might have heard about the stereotype of Autism, smart individuals that are socially challenged living in a world of their own, but the reality is that they are intellectually capable people more in tune to the world than many of us. As a mother of a toddler and a new born, I am very interested in learning more about it.

Here are some core Autism symptoms to note:

  • Social interactions and relationships. Symptoms may include:
    • Problems developing nonverbal communication skills, such as eye-to-eye gazing, facial expressions, and body posture.
    • Failure to establish friendships
    • Lack of interest in sharing enjoyment, interests, or achievements with others
    • Lack of empathy
  • Verbal and nonverbal communication. Symptoms may include:
    • Delay in, or lack of, learning to talk
    • Problems taking steps to start a conversation and keeping the conversation going
    • Stereotyped and repetitive use of language
    • Difficulty understanding their listener’s perspective. For example, not understanding when someone is using humor
  • Limited interests in activities or play. Symptoms may include:
    • An unusual focus on pieces. Younger children with autism often focus on parts of toys, such as the wheels on a car, rather than playing with the entire toy.
    • Preoccupation with certain topics
    • A need for sameness and routines
    • Stereotyped behaviors like body rocking and hand flapping
Normally Autism is not detected until the age of 3 years old, but more research is being done to detect it earlier for better results in treatments. Usually parents and caregivers detect autism in the first 3 years of a child’s development, but the signs of the disorder are difficult to diagnose during infancy even though autism is said to be present at birth. One of the main signs that raise a red flag for parents is delayed speech. Also the child might not like to be carried or play certain games like Peekaboo. Most children are able to relate to others, communicate and help themselves with early and intensive treatment. Very few are completely socially isolated.
If you are interested in learning more, take a look at Kate Winslet’s foundation called The Golden Hat Foundation. She is also promoting a book titled The Golden Hat: Talking Back to Autism, which tells a story of a boy with Autism and his mom’s journey to raise awareness of the condition along with photos and quotes of famous people and kids with Autism.
There is a lot of information out there for us. Even if you don’t directly relate to this condition, it is always great to know what it is and how we can help each other to make it all better. It is much easier to go through a journey with an army than to try to do it alone.

 

Is My Toddler Under Control?

I was at the gym today and they had that show The View in one of the TV’s. I occasionally toon in just to kill time while exercising. Normally the topics of discussion are pretty interesting or entertaining to my taste, but today more than entertaining I found it a little offensive.

Barbara Walters was talking about a Rhode Island mom that was kicked off a JetBlue flight because her toddler was fussy and refused to sit on her seat. I was offended that Barbara Walters was laughing before showing the video clip. In the video you see the toddler talking to her dad while the mom is talking to the host of the show. Ms. Walters found it funny that the mom was claiming the child was under control in the flight and the child, according to her, seems out of control during the Today Show interview. Being a mom of a toddler, I felt that the child was not out of control during the show, she was just doing what a typical toddler does. Yes, she was talking while her mom is talking, but she was not throwing a tantrum. She was sitting on her father’s lap while talking and singing, but she wasn’t all over the place. How can Ms. Walters criticize this mother claiming that she doesn’t have her child under control, when the child is not doing anything out of the ordinary for a two year old. Yes I agree that the parents should teach her that when adults are talking you need to be quiet if she has to sit there with the adults. But having a toddler and going through similar situations, I can tell you that it takes time to teach a toddler to behave. I think that she is actually well behaved for a child that age compared to many others that I have seen in stores running around, throwing tantrums and sometimes even hitting there moms. According to our society, what is considered a child under control and one unruly child? What do we expect moms to do when a toddler is throwing a tantrum in public, crying during a flight or any other occasion when we are suppose to be well behaved?

I flew out of Miami to Spain with my toddler last year. At the time she was 2 1/2 years old and going through some terrible twos. Considering that this was an international flight about 8 hours long and the last time she was in a plane was when she was 6 months old, my daughter behaved very good according to my standards. She also refused to sit on her own seat, and the flight attendant did tell me that I had to sit her in her seat for departure and for landing. My daughter started throwing a fit when I sat her in her seat and I forcefully buckled her down. The flight attendant still came to me and tried giving my daughter some crayons and coloring pages to calm her down, but nothing worked. She then told me – “Wow, she really has a strong personality. She needs a strong hand and some discipline.” I decided to ignore the comment, but it did bother me. I felt like she was basically telling me I didn’t know how to raise my child and I was bothering the other passengers. If you are a mom of a toddler you know that there are times when you cannot stop them from throwing a tantrum or screaming like someone is killing them. If you let them cry, you are a bad mom; and if you give them whatever they want so they stop crying you are still a bad mom that is raising a brat. So tell me, what are the rules to follow in public scenes? What was this mother of Rhode Island suppose to do with her daughter in that flight?

I also took a flight from Madrid to Paris during that trip, and the flight attendant had a different approach to my daughter refusing to sit on her seat. He let me carry her on my lap, but gave me the baby seatbelt that buckled to mine. That went much smoother and my child was calmly sitting with me. On the way back from Paris to Madrid, she had fallen asleep before landing. The flight attendant then just told me try to buckle her while she was lying down.

In my opinion we need to understand that parents do the best that they can when handling an unruly child in public. Depending on the culture, some parents are more stern with the child then others. I know that if it were a Latin parent, that child might have been spanked and forced to sit on her seat while screaming and crying. Here in the United States parents tend to give in more to their child. The parents of today have been influenced by the theories that we need to let our kid express himself and be more careful on how we discipline without affecting their self esteem. I don’t blame those moms that sometimes let their kids interrupt a conversation or throw a tantrum in the middle of a store. We are just doing our best and sometimes we don’t know any better.